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Post by ziddia on May 16, 2011 13:37:47 GMT -5
ANNOUNCE: Looking for 3 prereaders of new chapters. PM me if interested. Also, PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU READ THEM or I will lose the will to write more. PrologueChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3NOTE: URL tags are a bit buggy.
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Post by ziddia on May 17, 2011 5:12:59 GMT -5
Updated with links. Updated Prologue.
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Post by ziddia on May 17, 2011 5:34:19 GMT -5
Updated Chapter 1. No discussion? Has anypony read it?
Also, looking for prereaders for my next few chapters.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 7:41:13 GMT -5
Added Chapter 3. Updated Chapter 2. Somepony read and discuss please?
Also, resubmitted to ED. Fixed what they said was wrong. Waiting on an answer. I'm determined.
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Jair
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 7:43:55 GMT -5
why u break rules and double post It's good. better than a good many i've seen.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 7:53:19 GMT -5
Thanks, got a message from ED prereaders- make it more grammatically correct in many ways!! So I did. Wiring to see if they approve.
Also, did you read the new one? Just wrote it then.
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Jair
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Posts: 387
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 7:57:25 GMT -5
yes I did. a bit fast-paced though.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 8:01:23 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses and for reading it Just hope it gets on ED... Of course, I probably have to wait until tomorrow for a response :/
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Jair
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Pwnies
Posts: 387
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 8:08:43 GMT -5
good luck. you will need it.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 14:10:06 GMT -5
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Jair
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Pwnies
Posts: 387
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 14:13:13 GMT -5
Well it was something I noticed. use a deeper vocabulary for one.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 14:14:45 GMT -5
Erk? I don't like to write like that. It's how I write... Especially since I normally write for kids.
Oh well, I'll just... Take a break for now...
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Jair
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Posts: 387
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 14:16:12 GMT -5
Same here but use a deeper vocabulary and add more character depth to your OC. Basically do more than just say my parent died add a good bit more backstory for one.
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Post by ziddia on May 18, 2011 14:21:04 GMT -5
Okay, that seems like a good idea... What do you mean by deeper vocabulary?
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Jair
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Pwnies
Posts: 387
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Post by Jair on May 18, 2011 14:24:15 GMT -5
Get ready to use a thesaurus. use more descriptive words.
like instead of ran if you mean at a slow pace: Trot (these are horses for pete's sake) If you mean like he was running away: Dash (if you were talking humans you would use sprint) and so forth. they teach you this in like the third grade.
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